Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
