i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
