we're blogging at a bar
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
