we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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