apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Your penis caused this!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
