Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
is wine microwaveable?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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