i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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