When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
