my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
