I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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