well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
