You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize
