the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
