I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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