you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
