Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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