There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he thought i was a dude.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize