I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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