thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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