susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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