my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
