I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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