I don't think brook has ever known best
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
