Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
