You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
