i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
