and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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