she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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