names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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