after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
