Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
