I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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