So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
