You work out of a Hotel?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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