So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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