Yo dont text me then not text me
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
did i just pee glitter
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
