I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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