the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
