Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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