Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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