Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
