I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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