I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
