So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
