I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
