Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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