She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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