well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
