I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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