Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
