Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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