Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
