Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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