that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
