you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think your dad took our porno
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
