i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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