Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
