Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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