somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
